My Journey - Part 3

My original concept of submission was the ability and the willingness to follow commands and directives. As I delved into this more deeply, I also realized that it extended to anticipating His needs and desires. To become able to determine what He wants and attend to those wants, before being directed. While both of these beliefs are correct, neither of them go far enough. I did not initially recognize my active role in submission; I equated being submissive with being passive and compliant. I assumed it was being made to do His bidding, more about the physical than the psychological.

After His acceptance of my submission and the commencement of my training, the very strong psychological component became apparent to me. He devoted much time and effort into knowing me. I was led to submit my thoughts and my mind, even more than my body. It was more difficult to submit my psyche, than it was to submit my actions and physical self. Revealing my essence, my innermost self, was a test of my submission. The more I allowed Him to know of me, the more I knew myself. The better I understood my desires and my limits, the fewer limits remained. The greater my understanding of self, the deeper my submission.

He developed His control through my own thoughts and interpretations. He constantly placed my submission back in my mind, where it had originated. There in the depths of my mind, my submission grew, it matured, it bloomed. It was through His questions, His probing of my soul, that I came to understand what He knew all along. He confirmed this to me this week, when He told me: The more you understand yourself, the more of yourself you can surrender to me. and You are not a slave, you are my pet. Luckily, you are a pet that can work to understand her training, not merely to react blindly to command. I do finally understand my training.

"Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for; it is a thing to be achieved."
~ William Jennings Bryan